Humour, Uncategorized, Words

Bastards of Shop: In Which We Operate a Challenge 25 Policy

Off Licence selling cheap booze

1. “Do you have some ID?”
“22nd September 1990.”
“You what?”
“22nd September 1990.”
“No, you see, I asked if you have some ID. That’s not showing me some ID, that’s just you saying a date. If it was that simple, I wouldn’t be working here, would I? I’d just go down the social, say ‘4th June 1917’ and spend the Winter Fuel Allowance on beer and pies.”
“So you’re not serving me then?”
“That’s right.”
“You twat.”
“Possibly. Goodbye.”

2. “10 L&B.”
“Any ID on you?”
“Nah.”
“Can’t serve you then.”
“Come on you tight cunt!”
“Oh go on then, seeing as you called me a cunt.”
“Really?”
“NO.”

Honestly, what sort of shop does this guy normally go to, where calling the staff cunts makes them more likely to look upon you kindly?

3. “Do you have some ID please?”
[Shrieks] “I’M 21!”
“That’s as maybe, we check anyone who looks under 25.”
“Well I haven’t got any on me.”
“I can’t serve you then.”
“Fuck’s sake. That’s it, I’m not coming in here again.”
“Gutted. Without you coming in to buy a £2.99 bottle of wine-style fluid and the cheapest rolling baccy we’ve got, we’ll all be on the fucking dole in a week. Shut the door on your way out and leave me to my bitter, desperate tears, you rancid harridan.”

There’s others, but they’re all pretty much variations on those themes.

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Discussion

8 thoughts on “Bastards of Shop: In Which We Operate a Challenge 25 Policy

  1. I love getting ID’d! being 35 now it excites me that I look young enough to need to be ID’d hehehe

    Posted by showard76 | January 18, 2012, 12:20 pm
  2. I’ve not been ID’d in ages. I kind of miss it… I still get a bit nervous if I go to the bar and I don’t have makeup on or something for some reason, but I’m not even under 25 any more. Sob. Do you think they might bring in Challenge 30 soon?

    Posted by Alicia J Duffy | January 18, 2012, 4:08 pm
  3. On another note, nice to see that customer service is alive and well in the off licence trade 🙂

    Posted by Alicia J Duffy | January 18, 2012, 4:09 pm
  4. I was once asked for ID buying an energy drink 😦

    Posted by Mell Moore | January 19, 2012, 12:16 am
  5. How do you ascertain whether someone looks under 25? 18 is just post puberty and easier to judge. Mid 20’s is more ambiguous. It pisses me off greatly. I waited years to look just about over 18, now I have to look over bloody 25! I left home 10 years ago. I first voted over 10 years ago. I can drive, work, holiday, borrow money, buy property. Can I choose whether or not I want to damage my liver without the embarrassment of an ‘elder’ making my purchase? Bollocks can I.

    Posted by Jessica | January 19, 2012, 8:21 pm
  6. I got ID’ed for FILTER TIPS… JUST FILTER TIPS. It’s just bloody polystyrene!!

    Posted by Anonymous | January 19, 2012, 9:30 pm

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